Baby Mine
by pandorabox82
Summary: Erin is no longer able to keep the secret she's lived with for thirty one years. How will it affect not just Dave, but also Spencer and the rest of the BAU? And will either man be able to find it in his heart to forgive and accept her for who she really is? Inspired be Classic Erynn on Facebook.
1. Chapter 1

Erin sighed as she stared out at the bullpen from Dave's office. She had kept this secret for so long that she didn't think she would ever be able to tell a soul. And yet, he deserved to know. They both did. She had done so much to bury her past life, to distance herself from her brainy, academic, older sister that no one knew she was related to her. Not even her own son. Their own son. After all, she had raised him, away from her.

"Penny for your thoughts, Erin."

She turned and looked at her lover, feeling every one of her forty eight years weighing heavily on her. "I wish I could tell you here. I wish I could make this right. I just never expected us to fall back in love. And this could very well destroy us."

"Whoa, that sounds kind of serious, bella." He cupped her chin gently and raised her face up to look at his. "What is going on?"

She shrugged as she struggled not to cry. "I'm so sorry. Even if you hate me for the rest of your life, just know how sorry I am. I cannot live a lie any longer."

"Do you want to break up?"

Erin shook her head vigorously. "No! I love you, I will always love you, but you might want nothing to do with me after I tell you this."

Blake must have overheard her raised voice, as she looked up at them, a faint frown on her face. Erin shrank back into Dave, not wanting to deal with that woman on top of everything else that was about to happen. "Let's head out and talk then, Erin."  
"Okay," she whispered, feeling defeated. She looked over at Spencer and felt a longing, deep in her heart, to tell him the truth as well. He deserved to hear it, after all. "Could we take your car? I don't think that I could drive right now."

"Whatever you need, bella." He wrapped his arm around her waist, leading her out into the throng. The others looked at her, she could feel their eyes on her, and she shrank again, wanting to disappear.

"Hey, wait up!" Agent Morgan's voice cut through the murmur of work and she paused, knowing he would follow them if they didn't stop. "Is everything all right, Erin?"

He'd taken to using her given name, and she rather liked the slight insubordination. It had made her feel included in the group. "I don't know yet, Derek."

"Are you craving?"

The question gave her pause. She should be craving. What she was about to do would affect the rest of her life and her old self would have loved nothing more than to escape into the oblivion of alcohol. "Surprisingly, no. But thank you for your concern." Her eyes filled with tears once more and, to her shock, he reached out and hugged her tightly.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I've seen the progress you've made and I wouldn't want anything to set that back."

"Okay." Derek let go of her and she stepped back into the safety of David's arms. "If you pray, pray for me, for us." He nodded and they went out to the elevators.

"You really have me worried here, Erin. I hope to God that you aren't going to tell me that you have some awful communicable disease and that I'm at risk, too." David rubbed her back in gentle circles and she shuddered a little.

"Nothing like that. We're heading right home." He nodded and she fell silent, not wanting to say anything more before she was in a safe, private, space. The drive home seemed to take forever, but soon, he was pulling into the garage and leading her into the living room.

"All right, spill. What is making you so upset today?"

She took a deep breath. "Remember our first fling?"

"You were so young, and I was so dumb. I knew that you were in love with me, and I used that to my advantage. I was hurting after losing James and Carolyn in short order and used you terribly. I was shocked to see you turn up at the FBI all those years later."

"And I hated you. But not really, since I loved you too much to hate you." She reached out for his hand and clasped it tightly, running her thumb back and forth lightly. "I kept a secret from you, one that you had the right to know about. I was just so focused on my future, on becoming something more than what I was. I had lived in the shadow of my older sister for so long, which is why I got together with you in the first place."

"Wait, you have an older sister? Why did I never meet her?"

"Di was already working on her PhD at that time. She fell in love with medieval philosophy and left us to pursue that dream of hers."

A small light of confused understanding lit his eyes. "Are you trying to tell me that Diana Reid is your sister?"

"Maybe. Yes. She is. Her schizophrenia wasn't so bad then, and it was easily controlled with the medication. But I cut off all ties with her after…"

"After what, Erin?"

"After I gave her our baby." She felt him tighten his grip on her hand as he drew in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, run that by me again."

She looked deep into his eyes and saw a miasma of emotion. Shining through all of it, though, was love, and she began to cry once more. "I gave her our baby because I couldn't raise one and go to college. I wanted my child in the family, even if I couldn't take care of him. I'm so sorry, David, that I never told you this."

He rubbed her shoulder gently as they stared at each other. Erin felt like she couldn't tear her gaze away from his, and soon her tears slowed, even as his own began. "I have a son. In the BAU. Does he have any idea?"

She shook her head slowly. "No, I made Diana and William swear that they would never tell him. I didn't want him hampered by the knowledge that his screw up of a single mother hadn't wanted him."

"That's not the truth." She cocked her head to the side and he reached up to wipe her tears away. "If you hadn't wanted him, you would have had an abortion."

She let out a deep, shuddery, breath as she nodded. "I know, I would have. But you have to be angry at me. For God's sake, Spencer is thirty one now, and I stole all those years from you. I fucked you over."

He ran his thumb along her cheekbone before pulling her close to his chest. This movement brought out the sobs in her again. "After the way I left you, Erin, I don't blame you for keeping that from me. We fought like cats and dogs when you entered the FBI, and then I retired and thought nothing of you until I returned and still treated you badly. And maybe I will be angry come the morning, but right now, I think I'm in shock."

She nodded slowly, burrowing close to him as she cried. She unconsciously slipped off to sleep, barely feeling Dave lift her up and carry her to their room.


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning, Erin woke up alone, the covers pulled up around her shoulders. On Dave's pillow lay a piece of paper and she picked it up, reading the note he'd left.

_Erin, like I suspected, I woke up this morning angry. Angry at you, angry at me, and angry at the situation we found ourselves in all those years ago. I love you, never doubt that, but I have to work out some of this anger before I took it out on you. So, I'm taking a walk around the property. When I get back, we'll talk some more. I love you, David._

She felt her heart break a little as she read his note, thankful that he hadn't decided to leave her in the cold light of morning. Getting out of bed, she saw that he had laid out clothes for her on the chest and she padded over and tugged on the jeans and sweater before heading downstairs. Dave had made coffee for them before he had headed out and she poured herself a cup before heading to the library, determined to lose herself in a good book.

"Good morning, Erin." She turned her body to look up at him, feeling her lower lip quiver. "May I sit with you?"

"Of course you may, David." She set the book aside and patted the space next to her. He sat heavily and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. "Where's your heart right now?"

"I'm still upset. And wondering what I could have done differently so that you wouldn't have felt like you had to give our baby away, even if it was to family. Why?"

"I was so young, and already accepted to college. I wanted to be free of the shadow of my sister, my family, and so I took the only option I felt available. I'm so sorry." She began to cry once more and he held her close. "What are we going to tell Spencer? I mean, we have to tell him, there's no way you can live with this knowledge and not tell him. He's going to hate me even more than he already does."

"Shh, honey, we'll make him understand. Now, I know Diana never talked about you, he would have mentioned something like that over the years I've known him. It's safe to assume that he is in the dark about his true parentage. Do you think sooner would be better to break this news to him?"

She took a deep breath. "I have no idea, David. I really would have went to my grave with this knowledge, had we not gotten back together. And I know how unfair that is to you. Alan doesn't even know I have another child, you know. I never told him that."

Dave kissed the side of her head and she sighed, pulling his free arm around her waist. "We can't have regrets in our life, bella. It holds us back. And before you say it, I know that I don't listen to my own advice." He rubbed her stomach absently. "Was it an easy pregnancy?"

"I suppose. I only put on about twenty five pounds, but it seemed like it all went to my breasts. My best friend was the only one who stuck by me." She sighed and nestled closer to his heart, listening to the steady beating. "I had hardly any morning sickness, which Momma said was a blessing. I didn't realize that I would lose them so quickly after Spencer was born."

His hand stilled on her stomach and she covered it, holding on. "When did they pass?"

"Six months after he was born. I was still missing him so badly, even though I was at college and throwing myself into schoolwork and my sorority. I knew when the RA came to my room that something bad had happened. My professors gave me an extension on everything, but I didn't need it."

"Oh, Erin," he whispered as he kissed her cheek. "I missed so much by being such a jackass. I don't know why you let me back into your life."

"Because I love you. A small piece of my heart never stopped loving you." She looked up into his brown eyes and saw that he was crying. "And now, you're still here with me."

"And I always will be, Erin. You know, the petty part of me is still raging that you dared to give up our child without even telling me. I wish that I could drown that part of me out."

"Don't bury those feelings, look at what happened to me." She snuggled closer, letting him pull her into his lap. "Yell at me, shake me, but let it all out. Please."

Instead, he kissed her forehead softly, gently, and Erin started to cry, feeling overwhelmed by emotion. "If I start to yell, I won't stop. Why would Diana never mention you to Spencer? How did you create that rift?"

"By not answering her calls, her letters. I changed my name, fell off the face of the planet to her. And then I met Alan, got married, and my name changed again. And as I had my children, I fought harder and harder to forget about the one I had given away. Yet he still danced through my mind."

"Aaron mentioned something once, about how he thought you favored your son. He couldn't seem to figure it out."

"And now you know why. I guess I wasn't that hard to read, as I look back at myself and my actions. I just missed my son so." She lifted her head and looked at his jaw, trying to determine his mood. The muscles weren't clenched, which was a good sign, and she lifted her fingers to brush against his cheek. "And I missed you."

"I missed you, too." His hand slid up to cup her breast and she adjusted how she was sitting so that he could more easily hold her. "Perhaps we should talk to Hotch first about this kettle of fish we find ourselves in. He's a good listener, you know."

"So I've heard." She closed her hand around his, tightening his grasp on her breast. "Maybe we could invite him over for supper tonight?"

"And who would be making this supper?"

"You, of course. You've always been the better cook. You learned it from your mother. I remember these delicious little pastries that she used to make, filled with lemon." Her stomach growled at the mere thought of them and he laughed lowly. "Does she still make them?"

"Bella, she's nearing ninety. She doesn't bake anymore."

"Oh." Her heart hurt to think about how time had passed without her noticing it. It had made sense, Mrs. Rossi was older when they had met, but she had just assumed it was like her parents version of older. "Time sometimes slips past me, you know."

"Me, too." He pulled her further onto his lap so that she straddled him, kissing her gently. "We should probably get us breakfast, though. I'm a bit hungry myself." She nodded and then leaned in to kiss him once more.

"I love you, David." She brought her forehead to rest against his. "And I know how much control you have. Thank you."

"I'd forgotten how well you could read me, bella." He stole another kiss from her before wrapping her up in a tight hug. "I'll probably take another walk after breakfast. The quiet of the woods tends to absorb my voice."

"I'll have to remember that, darling." She stood and held out her hand to him, wanting him to clasp it. The moment his hand slid into hers, she felt a little of the burden she was carrying lift off her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

"Thank you for coming on such late notice, Aaron. We really appreciate this," Erin said warmly as she opened the door for him. He nodded at her, a soft look of concern on his face. "Would you care for anything to drink? We have coffee, tea, water, and I think there's some apple juice left."

His brow furrowed a little as he continued to look at her. "Water will be fine, Erin."

She nodded. "Dave's in the study. I'll join you both in just a minute." She went into the kitchen and pulled out one of the pitchers, quickly covering the bottom of it with ice before filling it with water. Then she grabbed three glasses and carried everything into the study.

Looking around the room, she saw that Aaron had chosen to sit in Dave's chair while Dave sat on the sofa, leaving a spot on the end for her. She poured water for each of them, handing them out before sitting down next to her lover, cuddling into him. Dave's arm automatically came to rest around her shoulders and she smiled a little as she let her head come to rest on his chest. "So, you're probably wondering why we asked you to come here, Hotch."

"A little, yes. I assume it has something to do with why you both took off yesterday." They nodded in tandem. "So, what is it that we have to talk about?"

"You're going to have a hard time believing this, Aaron. I just want to tell you that upfront." Erin took a deep breath and then sipped at her water, knowing he was watching her every move. "Thirty years ago, well, closer to thirty two, but who's counting, I was in a relationship with David. He and Carolyn had moved to my hometown right before they found out they were going to have James."

As she watched, a flash of judgment passed over his face. Dave must have picked up on the look as well, as his hand tightened around her shoulder. "It wasn't until we had split that Erin and I got together. Not that you'll like me any more for how young Erin was when we first let things get physical between us."

"That's neither here nor there, David. I fancied myself in love with you and went after you. And then you left, and I found out…"

Aaron held up a hand, stopping her. "Wait, wait, you had his child?"

"That's what I'm trying to say, yes. And you know our child, you've known him for a long time."

Dave adjusted how he was holding her, pulling her closer to his body as they both watched Aaron's face. Erin knew he was an intelligent man, that it wouldn't take him long to put the pieces together and come up with… "Reid? Reid is your child? How could you have kept something like that under wraps? Did you know, Dave?"

They both drew in a sharp breath at the cutting tone of his words. "No, I only found out myself yesterday."

"That is such a dick move, Erin." His anger was justified, but she still shrank back against David, needing to be sheltered by his arms as she burst into tears. "Oh, and don't even try to make me feel sympathy for you by turning on the waterworks. That doesn't work on me."

David's hand tightened painfully on her shoulder and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. "We didn't ask you here for your condemnation. We asked you here because we needed an ear to listen to us. How do we break this to the kid?"

"You're seriously asking that of me? I have no idea where to begin here. I mean, you've been lying for most of your life, Erin. I don't let my teammates lie about even the littlest thing."

She nodded stupidly, trying to stem the flow of her tears. "I know," she whispered, pulling away from David. "If you'll excuse me, please." Getting up from the couch, she fled from the room, running up the stairs and into the bedroom, throwing herself on the bed and letting herself sob.

Erin barely registered the sound of footsteps in the room, or the dip of the bed. "I'm here, Erin," Dave whispered lovingly, spooning his body around hers. She tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let her go, holding her tightly against his body until she melted against him. "Aaron left, I thought it would be best if he did."

"He hates me, and rightfully so. You should hate me, too. I've built this relationship on a lie, one that should never have been told."

Dave pressed his lips to her cheek and began to rock her back and forth, seeking to soothe her. "You did what you thought best at the time. I may not fully understand why you kept this from me, from us, for so long, but I do know that I love you."

She gasped a little. He hadn't told her that yet, not since she had revealed her secret to him, and this made her cry all the harder. "I love you, too, David. I don't deserve this love, but here you are, offering it to me. Kiss me?"

"Yes, bella." She lifted her face and he covered her lips gently. This kiss was so different from the others that they had shared, tender, sweet, loving, and full of compassion. "I love you." He rested his forehead against hers and they sighed in tandem.

"Supper is still in the oven, isn't it?"

He chuckled lowly. "You can think of food at a time like this?"

"No. I just don't want it to burn. I'm not sure that I could eat anything right now." She drew in a long breath. "I hate myself," she whispered, burying her face in his shoulder.

His hands turned her so that she was facing him. "Erin Strauss, never let me hear you say that ever again. Your decision was made when I left you. I didn't exactly leave you a forwarding address to get ahold of me, now did I?" She shook her head. "There you go, then. You are a wonderful, vibrant, caring, woman who I love deeply. And now we share something beautiful, our son." Leaning in, he kissed her once more and Erin sank into his arms, suddenly unwilling to let go of him. "You know, we do have to get up and take care of the food. You said so yourself," he murmured against her lips.

"I know." Reluctantly, she pushed away from him and sat up, stretching. "I never heard the door close. Are you sure he went home?"  
"Yes, bella, I am. How are you feeling?" He stood and held his hand out to her.

She stood, taking hold of his hand. "A little woozy, to be honest. I think it's the lingering side-effects of that drug, Davie." Her eyes filled with tears once more. "You understand now why I had to tell you. If someone should hurt us again, we might not be so lucky this time. And I couldn't die without letting you know."

The tears started falling so quickly, and he gathered her up in a tight embrace. "I know, Erin, I know." He kissed her forehead and she sighed lightly. "I think that's part of why I was so upset yesterday. I realized all that I could have lost had we been any later in getting to you." He ran his hand down to her wrist, his thumb brushing against the infinity scar on her wrist. "I love you, Erin."

"I love you, too. With all my heart." Together, they went down to the kitchen, only to see that Aaron was still there, an apologetic look on his face. "Aaron?"

"I reacted badly. I'm sorry. We're all still dealing with the fallout of the Replicator." She nodded, molding her body to David's. "So, I figured you'd be coming down to deal with the food and decided to help you out."

"Thanks, Aaron." David led her over to the table, and she sat down. "Do you want anything before we put it away, bella?"

"Maybe. I really should eat. And you can mark day twenty five on the calendar."

Aaron looked at her in shock and she shrugged. "You didn't willingly drink, Erin."

"I know. I know." She gave in to her tears once more, and this time it was Aaron who came to her side, who pulled her into a tight embrace. "He still stole my sobriety from me. I just, I lost. I let them take the fall for a mistake we all made, and it almost killed me. I can't cover up the truth any longer."

Tenderly, he rubbed her arm, letting her cry on his shoulder as David plated their food. The quiet of the room seeped into her bones and she took a deep breath, trying to quiet her soul. "And tomorrow, when you come to the office, we'll sit down with Reid and somehow, we'll get all three of you through this." She nodded, clinging to him all the more.


End file.
